Building Self-Confidence and Self-Worth in Business and Life
“Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” – T. Harv Eker, author, businessman, and motivational speaker.
Building self-confidence and self-worth in relationships may not be top on your agenda if you believe you ‘have what it takes’. But for many of us, our relationships do not always go the way we thought they would: business partners have major disagreements, suppliers or marketers get your instructions wrong or have a different interpretation of what you said; customers think you promised something you just know you didn’t; and life partners can’t understand what you are doing.
These are signs that your relationships need some work and reflection.
Below are some helpful hints to make life’s relationships run just a little more smoothly. The sad truth we keep hearing, and need to know, is that we, ourselves, are the only people who can make changes in our lives.
Get Clear About Your Values! We talked about values before. They are a key element in making you who you are and how you put yourself forward to others. So define your values, know what they are.
Painful and Difficult situations as learning tools: Use painful and difficult situations as learning tools rather than as tools to bash or demean yourself - or others. Don’t stay upset longer than a few minutes; then switch into “What can I learn from this experience that will benefit me in future?” Write your lesson down in your diary. (You do have one, right?)
Consciously avoid drifting into negative thoughts! You know your own tendencies on this issue: clients/customers or friends do something you don’t like and you begin to think negative thoughts about them and what they expect from you. You feel used and abused and you slip into resist/resent/revenge mode. I call it the Triple-R Mode. You cannot solve communication issues by being mad, angry, or any one or all of the Triple-R modes. Beware! Switch it up into positive thoughts by simply choosing some positive phrases. Get some ready-made ones for future use!
Build Self-Trust! Value yourself in all the ways that have meaning for you in the same way you see value in others and what they do. Choose to value yourself, and you will begin to trust yourself. Think about what character traits you admire in others and choose to develop those traits yourself.
Work on Your Communication Skills! Communication gaps exist everywhere in business and life! You say something; you know what you mean. But others around us hear what you say using their own life experiences to interpret your statement. Think about what you want to say, then ensure it is as clear and simple as you can make it. If it is important, you can also ask them if they would mind telling you what they heard you say and what you meant.
Keep a Diary! Best a hand-written diary (remember brain research!). Even if you only write three or four words in it to remind you of the situation, the date and who was there. Writing will help fix the lessons of the day in your mind, so you are less likely to repeat the mistakes you made, and help you recall positive outcomes you achieved!
Being self-confident requires self-awareness.
Self-awareness requires that you actually actively take part in the suggestions above. Think about what you say and do, what you said and did, and why. Research now tells us that the best leaders are those who have a good grip on who they are, what they are, what values they hold, and what they want to achieve. When you are this clear, you not only will grow more confident, you will certainly increase your sense of self-worth.